Sorry, I have got no story to tell this time. The truth is I don’t want to waste time in thinking of a story to discuss this topic.
Have you seen the movie “Shallow Hal”? For those who haven’t, don’t worry it’s not the whole movie that matters but rather a small portion of it. The protagonist is a guy who dates women exclusively for their appearance (Many guys can relate to this character, cant you? J). Though his friends and colleagues try to mend his ways, he resists them by saying that the “looks” of a lady overpowers him totally before he could actually get to know her! One fine day he meets the famous American self-help writer Tony Robbins, who understanding his problem, mesmerizes him such that he sees only the inner character of the person as their outward beauty! Ultimately he ends up falling for an obese woman who appears slender and beautiful to his eyes because of her heart, which is as-good-as-gold.
Now, honestly, tell me do you want this curse?
For those who say “NO”, think, you can quit worrying about making mistakes in judging people? Because you’ll come to know about everyone the very moment you see him or her! And for those who say, “YES”, I’m warning you, you may also fall head-over-heels for a not-so-conventionally beautiful woman since her pleasant personality would have attracted you!
But ladies and gentlemen, let me tell you something, whether you like it or not, we have all got the Robbins’ Curse!
I can hear you saying, “If that’s the case then why do we still end up with wrong people?” Yes, we start moving with someone hoping they’d be good, but it turns to be disastrous at times! True, I agree. So let me rephrase my statement, we have all got the curse partially, confusing, huh?
Allow me to explain. The media (movies, magazines, internet and what not) creates programs in our heads about “what is beautiful?” They define the rules, don’t they? (Courtesy: Tony Robbins from the same movie) So we start judging people whether they are beautiful or not based on these norms.
At times you may have got to interact with someone who is a plain man/woman. But as time goes by they turn out to be your best buddy. Listen carefully, when this happens the head undergoes a change, that is, all the predefined settings in the head, are erased for this person alone! (Gotcha! Have you wondered why all your loved ones are beautiful/handsome/cute? The truth is, they might not be according to the media standards, but it’s your mind that starts perceiving them through a rosy glass!) Hence Robbins’ Curse will work only for those whom you like a lot.
The ingenious part of this process is that in spite of having a really weird looking hair-do your friend will still be cute, but that may be not be the case with that attractive lady who sits in the next cubicle! Someday, to your utter disappointment, you’ll find her not that pretty or even scary because of the wrong shade of lipstick she’s wearing or the horrible pimple on her cheek! Wake up my friend, your head is still comparing her with the media norms! Stop doing that and get to know her! Luckily if she turns out to be your type then…
Congrats! YOU ARE CURSED! J
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Saturday, November 8, 2008
Pretend you dont see him...
“Study well dear. Give me a call as soon as you reach the hostel. OK?”
“Ok athai.”
“If there’s anything you need just let me know. I’ll arrange. Keep the murukku safe with you or else your room-mates might finish it off.”
“Yes athai, you reminded me about this at least ten times since morning.” Bala said with a smile.
Meena was walking towards the bus stand along with him. Bala is studying 9th standard in a convent in Madurai. Since Meena was residing in Kodaikanal he used to visit her for his holidays. Every time when she used to bid farewell to him, she had noticed the difference in his behavior. She thought maybe he was feeling sad to part with her; just the same way she feels. But this time when she keenly studied his face she concluded it was something else! He was looking as though he was about to give a speech in front of 1000 people. Nervousness was written all over his face. He was walking as though trying to withdraw himself into some invisible shell. There comes a change in his body language only when he’s outside, but he is very normal indoors. May be I should talk with him, she thought. She started walking towards her house when the bus Bala boarded was moving. This should certainly be discussed with Muthu Anna.
Muthu’s wife had passed away giving birth to Bala. The delivery involved so much complication. Bala was hence born with dwarfism. But mentally he was a normal child. Even above average, she could easily say. He always came within the first three ranks in his class. Muthu had a tough time raising him but with Meena’s support he had managed it. Since he was doing his textile business in Surat, he visited Kodaikanal quite rarely. He was able to be there in peace since his sister was taking care of Bala.
As soon as she reached home, she called her brother. After the initial conversations she gradually brought the topic of Bala’s behavior in the bus-stand today. There was a small pause and Muthu said:
“I know about that. I underestimated your observation power. I thought you wouldn’t notice.”
“Anna did you talk to him about this?”
“Why should I talk, Meena? I can very well understand the reason! He’s very casual inside home and whenever he goes out he behaves as though he’s possessed by something. He’s stepping into his teens. Its now he’ll be very conscious about his physical appearance. All these days he never bothered to look around – to see how people look at him. Its only now he’s beginning to understand the meaning of other’s glances. Is it my child’s mistake that he was born this way? Why don’t people understand this? If he were a bit older I would have taught him to ignore them. But now I’m even scared to discuss this topic with him! I don’t know Bala is going to get over all this.”
Meena could sense lots of frustration in her brother’s voice. Something has to be done about this. But do what? She was confused. She wanted to hug Bala and tell him, “This is a big bad world dear. There are so many murderers here, for they have killed the self-confidence and faith of so many little souls. But no matter what…I’ll not allow you to become a victim of these murderers!”
She could only imagine talking to him, as she wasn’t sure how Bala would take it if she discusses this.
Arguing to herself, she thought of going to the market to buy groceries. On the way she saw a lady walking with her differently-abled child. At the same time on the opposite side of the road there was walking a well-dressed woman who was staring at the child. “Blind woman!” Meena thought.
And then she immediately crossed the road and stood in front of the woman, who was now giving her a puzzled look.
“Yes?” She said to Meena.
“Why are you looking at that kid?” She didn’t want to beat around the bush!
“Which one?”
“The one right across the street. Don’t tell me you weren’t staring at her. I was seeing you”
“Look you have misunderstood me, I really feel sorry for the kid and her mother, I mean it!”
“Oh! Do you?” She paused “Fine, now tell me how would you react, if you catch someone ogling at you or in your language feeling sorry for you all the time”
“But why would someone do that? I’m just fine. I’m in no way handicapped”
Meena smiled ”Oh my poor dear! Now you are making me feel sorry. Aren’t you aware that you are blind? If you hadn’t been one, you would have seen the pain on the mother’s face! You are also deaf, as you were insensitive to the cries of that lady’s heart.” The other woman was stunned. Meena was aware that her voice was rising in decibel. “No one wants your sympathy here. Did she ask you? Since you can give it for free, you keep distributing it! What the hell do you think she can do with that feeling sorry of yours? Next time you see that kid at least pretend you don’t see her. You don’t have any idea what this stare of yours can do to her.” Her voice was now barely a whisper “I know what it can do" This time the woman wasn't blind as she saw the tears in Meena’s eyes, who now turned and kept walking towards the market.
“Ok athai.”
“If there’s anything you need just let me know. I’ll arrange. Keep the murukku safe with you or else your room-mates might finish it off.”
“Yes athai, you reminded me about this at least ten times since morning.” Bala said with a smile.
Meena was walking towards the bus stand along with him. Bala is studying 9th standard in a convent in Madurai. Since Meena was residing in Kodaikanal he used to visit her for his holidays. Every time when she used to bid farewell to him, she had noticed the difference in his behavior. She thought maybe he was feeling sad to part with her; just the same way she feels. But this time when she keenly studied his face she concluded it was something else! He was looking as though he was about to give a speech in front of 1000 people. Nervousness was written all over his face. He was walking as though trying to withdraw himself into some invisible shell. There comes a change in his body language only when he’s outside, but he is very normal indoors. May be I should talk with him, she thought. She started walking towards her house when the bus Bala boarded was moving. This should certainly be discussed with Muthu Anna.
Muthu’s wife had passed away giving birth to Bala. The delivery involved so much complication. Bala was hence born with dwarfism. But mentally he was a normal child. Even above average, she could easily say. He always came within the first three ranks in his class. Muthu had a tough time raising him but with Meena’s support he had managed it. Since he was doing his textile business in Surat, he visited Kodaikanal quite rarely. He was able to be there in peace since his sister was taking care of Bala.
As soon as she reached home, she called her brother. After the initial conversations she gradually brought the topic of Bala’s behavior in the bus-stand today. There was a small pause and Muthu said:
“I know about that. I underestimated your observation power. I thought you wouldn’t notice.”
“Anna did you talk to him about this?”
“Why should I talk, Meena? I can very well understand the reason! He’s very casual inside home and whenever he goes out he behaves as though he’s possessed by something. He’s stepping into his teens. Its now he’ll be very conscious about his physical appearance. All these days he never bothered to look around – to see how people look at him. Its only now he’s beginning to understand the meaning of other’s glances. Is it my child’s mistake that he was born this way? Why don’t people understand this? If he were a bit older I would have taught him to ignore them. But now I’m even scared to discuss this topic with him! I don’t know Bala is going to get over all this.”
Meena could sense lots of frustration in her brother’s voice. Something has to be done about this. But do what? She was confused. She wanted to hug Bala and tell him, “This is a big bad world dear. There are so many murderers here, for they have killed the self-confidence and faith of so many little souls. But no matter what…I’ll not allow you to become a victim of these murderers!”
She could only imagine talking to him, as she wasn’t sure how Bala would take it if she discusses this.
Arguing to herself, she thought of going to the market to buy groceries. On the way she saw a lady walking with her differently-abled child. At the same time on the opposite side of the road there was walking a well-dressed woman who was staring at the child. “Blind woman!” Meena thought.
And then she immediately crossed the road and stood in front of the woman, who was now giving her a puzzled look.
“Yes?” She said to Meena.
“Why are you looking at that kid?” She didn’t want to beat around the bush!
“Which one?”
“The one right across the street. Don’t tell me you weren’t staring at her. I was seeing you”
“Look you have misunderstood me, I really feel sorry for the kid and her mother, I mean it!”
“Oh! Do you?” She paused “Fine, now tell me how would you react, if you catch someone ogling at you or in your language feeling sorry for you all the time”
“But why would someone do that? I’m just fine. I’m in no way handicapped”
Meena smiled ”Oh my poor dear! Now you are making me feel sorry. Aren’t you aware that you are blind? If you hadn’t been one, you would have seen the pain on the mother’s face! You are also deaf, as you were insensitive to the cries of that lady’s heart.” The other woman was stunned. Meena was aware that her voice was rising in decibel. “No one wants your sympathy here. Did she ask you? Since you can give it for free, you keep distributing it! What the hell do you think she can do with that feeling sorry of yours? Next time you see that kid at least pretend you don’t see her. You don’t have any idea what this stare of yours can do to her.” Her voice was now barely a whisper “I know what it can do" This time the woman wasn't blind as she saw the tears in Meena’s eyes, who now turned and kept walking towards the market.
Monday, August 18, 2008
Lesson from a dog
Prerna and Mili tried to push or rather squeeze themselves into the crowded bus. They were thankful for they finally got a place to stand (?!) After a few minutes Mili noticed a brown-shirt guy slowly moving and standing behind Prerna. Mili knew what would happen next, she tried to indicate Prerna about him but she was far from her reach. She sighed. Suddenly, the guy breathed a low-volume unworldly wail. The lady next to her stared at the guy in shock! The embarrassment was apparent on his face. He waded towards the door and got down in the next stopping! There was a small victorious smile on Prerna's face as she carefully dropped the drawing compass into her bag.
As they got down Mili couldn't control her curiosity any longer. She asked as soon as they got down in their stop.
"What happened Prerna? He seemed as though he had been bitten by a mad monkey!"
Prerna laughed "Know what? I really do have a mad monkey in here!" She pointed to her bag.
By that time they had reached Mili's home. Prerna said goodbye to a puzzled Mili. She was recollecting the incident they had a few days back as she walked towards her house.
"This is atrocious Mili, how could you let them go on like this? Something has to be done!" Prerna had said, her voice filled with aggravation.
"Cool down, yaar! This is something very common in a metro city. This is all new to you as you are from a small town. But remember, you can't survive here unless you tolerate all this!"
"Is the word 'tolerance' translating to 'cowardice' according to you, Mili?"
"Prerna, I think you are just over-reacting. How are you supposed to get inside a fully packed bus without touching other people?"
"Do you think I can't understand the difference between an accidental touch and intentional physical abuse? Don't you see there are many pigs out there that use a crowded bus to fulfill their hidden disgusting desires? Should we become a victim to them?"
" I get it. But how many people can you fight? Can you single-handedly change the whole society?"
" I know I can't change the society but that doesn't mean I should let this happen to me!"
"See it's not only about you! This is the fate of females! Not only in the case of humans but even in the animal kingdom females are the weaker sexes! This is how nature is designed! Now for heaven's sake, go home and relax."
Relax? But how could she? Prerna had been on the verge of tears as he entered her house. She hated her weak body which had once upon a time filled her with pride! She tried to take a stroll and went to her terrace. She was brooding over the number of eve-teasing cases, rapes and sexual abuses that are being portrayed with so much pomp in the new papers. Maybe the government is also taking steps in solving these problems but however that is not a huge success! What is the ultimate solution for this?
May be Mili was right? She wondered. Has nature really destined women to endure all the pain and suffering? She tried hard to concentrate on something else but couldn't. All of a sudden she heard loud barking from the street. She ran to get a glimpse of the street below. There were about 5 to 6 dogs that Blacky was chasing so fiercely. It was the neighbor's she-god, a very healthy and active 8-year-old. She could hear her neighbor explaining to her dad that the dogs were from the next street and were trying to mate with Blacky. She had once heard the same person complain that all these years Blacky has never become pregnant. She could now see why! Other dogs were running for their lives seeing Blacky on a ready-to-pounce-on-them position.
The remarkable part here was that in spite of Blacky being quite healthy, other dogs could have easily taken her had they united together. But she was smart enough to create an impression as though she was some kind of a monster and they can’t even think of getting what they want!
Something hit her hard. She felt like running all the way down and giving a big hug to Blacky, for it had given her the answer for all her questions. When a 5-sensed animal can protect itself why can’t a 6-sensed human do that? This is a kind of problem in which no one can protect us all the time; we have to save ourselves! She has seen her friends’ brothers or fathers or boyfriends accompanying them to all places for “safety” purpose. Is that real safety? One’s sense of safety should come from inside and not by external factors. If parents understand this and equip their girls accordingly, there will definitely be a change in all these crimes against women.
Prerna had immediately gone down and wrapped her handkerchief on an old compass for saving her soul tomorrow!
As they got down Mili couldn't control her curiosity any longer. She asked as soon as they got down in their stop.
"What happened Prerna? He seemed as though he had been bitten by a mad monkey!"
Prerna laughed "Know what? I really do have a mad monkey in here!" She pointed to her bag.
By that time they had reached Mili's home. Prerna said goodbye to a puzzled Mili. She was recollecting the incident they had a few days back as she walked towards her house.
"This is atrocious Mili, how could you let them go on like this? Something has to be done!" Prerna had said, her voice filled with aggravation.
"Cool down, yaar! This is something very common in a metro city. This is all new to you as you are from a small town. But remember, you can't survive here unless you tolerate all this!"
"Is the word 'tolerance' translating to 'cowardice' according to you, Mili?"
"Prerna, I think you are just over-reacting. How are you supposed to get inside a fully packed bus without touching other people?"
"Do you think I can't understand the difference between an accidental touch and intentional physical abuse? Don't you see there are many pigs out there that use a crowded bus to fulfill their hidden disgusting desires? Should we become a victim to them?"
" I get it. But how many people can you fight? Can you single-handedly change the whole society?"
" I know I can't change the society but that doesn't mean I should let this happen to me!"
"See it's not only about you! This is the fate of females! Not only in the case of humans but even in the animal kingdom females are the weaker sexes! This is how nature is designed! Now for heaven's sake, go home and relax."
Relax? But how could she? Prerna had been on the verge of tears as he entered her house. She hated her weak body which had once upon a time filled her with pride! She tried to take a stroll and went to her terrace. She was brooding over the number of eve-teasing cases, rapes and sexual abuses that are being portrayed with so much pomp in the new papers. Maybe the government is also taking steps in solving these problems but however that is not a huge success! What is the ultimate solution for this?
May be Mili was right? She wondered. Has nature really destined women to endure all the pain and suffering? She tried hard to concentrate on something else but couldn't. All of a sudden she heard loud barking from the street. She ran to get a glimpse of the street below. There were about 5 to 6 dogs that Blacky was chasing so fiercely. It was the neighbor's she-god, a very healthy and active 8-year-old. She could hear her neighbor explaining to her dad that the dogs were from the next street and were trying to mate with Blacky. She had once heard the same person complain that all these years Blacky has never become pregnant. She could now see why! Other dogs were running for their lives seeing Blacky on a ready-to-pounce-on-them position.
The remarkable part here was that in spite of Blacky being quite healthy, other dogs could have easily taken her had they united together. But she was smart enough to create an impression as though she was some kind of a monster and they can’t even think of getting what they want!
Something hit her hard. She felt like running all the way down and giving a big hug to Blacky, for it had given her the answer for all her questions. When a 5-sensed animal can protect itself why can’t a 6-sensed human do that? This is a kind of problem in which no one can protect us all the time; we have to save ourselves! She has seen her friends’ brothers or fathers or boyfriends accompanying them to all places for “safety” purpose. Is that real safety? One’s sense of safety should come from inside and not by external factors. If parents understand this and equip their girls accordingly, there will definitely be a change in all these crimes against women.
Prerna had immediately gone down and wrapped her handkerchief on an old compass for saving her soul tomorrow!
The story of your sole
I just came home from the college tour. Four days have drifted so quickly. Even though it was only 8:00 PM, the house was totally dark. I kept my luggage in the corner and kept looking for dad.
“Dad, I’m back!” There was no response. He might be in the terrace. That’s one place you can find him in the nights. He keeps staring at the sky. I always wondered what he would be looking at in the star-studded sky. Not only this, there are many more things about him that had surprised me. The only stuff he’s concerned about is ‘giving me food’. He has no special interests or wishes. Will you believe that he doesn’t even watch TV or read newspaper? He’ll either be in the kitchen or terrace.
“Kumar, when did you come?” He was descending from the stairs.
“Just now…the tour was too good. I never knew that the Mysore palace looks that magnificent in the night! You should see the malls in Banglore…. I had gone nuts managing my students. Few of them….”
“Will idlis be fine for dinner?” Bang…came his expressionless voice!
I sighed. Didn’t I tell you? He hardly listens to such talks. He’s concerned about food, food and food! Nothing else!!! Even during supper I tried to initiate a conversation about the tour, but he still had the same straight-faced look
I was lying in the bed totally exasperated. I knew that dad had an extremely tough time after mom’s death, when I was 2 years old. Since then he had made a living by working in a hotel nearby as a cook. I don’t have any memories of him being an extrovert. He hardly smiles. Last I saw him smiling when I gave the appointment order for my present job as a lecturer.
I feel jealous about my friends who used to complain about their dad’s talking endlessly! In fact I tried to do some talking with him about the weather, politics, music, movies, books etc. but he had never reciprocated. I wish I could also take him out for temple, or movies. My notion of changing him had failed!
Since I wasn’t feeling sleepy, I thought of skimming through a magazine. In the first page, a dermatologist was addressing about the problems occurring in the foot. A person had enquired about a remedy for her sole being hard and numb.
“The sole by nature is soft. But when it is exposed to harsh surfaces, in the beginning it hurts…due to its sensitivity. If the exposure to the same surface continues it looses its softness and becomes totally numb. It’s an involuntary action. Since the pain is no longer felt, people don’t see that as a problem and hence end up neglecting it. To get rid of this, pamper it with, say, an oil massage. The most important of all stay away from rough surfaces.”
Hmm, nowadays people are more conscious about taking care of their sole rather than soul! I wonder whether this ‘sole’ story is true for ‘soul’ too! Lets see, I’ll read that paragraph again.
Soul is generally soft – agreed
When soul encounters hardships for the first time, it hurts – agreed too. (That’s the reason your first love, if failed would have hurt you more)
When soul is facing more troubles, it no longer pains as it had become insensitive –
for a second Dad’s expressionless face flashed before me. I can’t believe this!!! Is THIS the reason he has become numb? That’s TRUE! He had only faced thunderstorms and lightning in his life---all this just for my sake. They involuntarily turned him into a robot.
Had his soul become numb that it could no longer feel the love I express! Tears tingled down my cheeks. I felt like crying out loud “Dad I love you! You had been born a human but turned into a machine because of me! But I’m going to bring you back, dad. I know you’ll definitely regain the sensitivity when I keep showering you with love and affection. And after that I swear that I’m not going to let anything hurt you. You’ve already seen enough. I want to ensure that your journey till the end of life is as content as possible.” Before I went to sleep, I made a to-do note to book tickets for Illayaraja’s concert. Dad’s going to love it, you know?
“Dad, I’m back!” There was no response. He might be in the terrace. That’s one place you can find him in the nights. He keeps staring at the sky. I always wondered what he would be looking at in the star-studded sky. Not only this, there are many more things about him that had surprised me. The only stuff he’s concerned about is ‘giving me food’. He has no special interests or wishes. Will you believe that he doesn’t even watch TV or read newspaper? He’ll either be in the kitchen or terrace.
“Kumar, when did you come?” He was descending from the stairs.
“Just now…the tour was too good. I never knew that the Mysore palace looks that magnificent in the night! You should see the malls in Banglore…. I had gone nuts managing my students. Few of them….”
“Will idlis be fine for dinner?” Bang…came his expressionless voice!
I sighed. Didn’t I tell you? He hardly listens to such talks. He’s concerned about food, food and food! Nothing else!!! Even during supper I tried to initiate a conversation about the tour, but he still had the same straight-faced look
I was lying in the bed totally exasperated. I knew that dad had an extremely tough time after mom’s death, when I was 2 years old. Since then he had made a living by working in a hotel nearby as a cook. I don’t have any memories of him being an extrovert. He hardly smiles. Last I saw him smiling when I gave the appointment order for my present job as a lecturer.
I feel jealous about my friends who used to complain about their dad’s talking endlessly! In fact I tried to do some talking with him about the weather, politics, music, movies, books etc. but he had never reciprocated. I wish I could also take him out for temple, or movies. My notion of changing him had failed!
Since I wasn’t feeling sleepy, I thought of skimming through a magazine. In the first page, a dermatologist was addressing about the problems occurring in the foot. A person had enquired about a remedy for her sole being hard and numb.
“The sole by nature is soft. But when it is exposed to harsh surfaces, in the beginning it hurts…due to its sensitivity. If the exposure to the same surface continues it looses its softness and becomes totally numb. It’s an involuntary action. Since the pain is no longer felt, people don’t see that as a problem and hence end up neglecting it. To get rid of this, pamper it with, say, an oil massage. The most important of all stay away from rough surfaces.”
Hmm, nowadays people are more conscious about taking care of their sole rather than soul! I wonder whether this ‘sole’ story is true for ‘soul’ too! Lets see, I’ll read that paragraph again.
Soul is generally soft – agreed
When soul encounters hardships for the first time, it hurts – agreed too. (That’s the reason your first love, if failed would have hurt you more)
When soul is facing more troubles, it no longer pains as it had become insensitive –
for a second Dad’s expressionless face flashed before me. I can’t believe this!!! Is THIS the reason he has become numb? That’s TRUE! He had only faced thunderstorms and lightning in his life---all this just for my sake. They involuntarily turned him into a robot.
Had his soul become numb that it could no longer feel the love I express! Tears tingled down my cheeks. I felt like crying out loud “Dad I love you! You had been born a human but turned into a machine because of me! But I’m going to bring you back, dad. I know you’ll definitely regain the sensitivity when I keep showering you with love and affection. And after that I swear that I’m not going to let anything hurt you. You’ve already seen enough. I want to ensure that your journey till the end of life is as content as possible.” Before I went to sleep, I made a to-do note to book tickets for Illayaraja’s concert. Dad’s going to love it, you know?
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