I just came home from the college tour. Four days have drifted so quickly. Even though it was only 8:00 PM, the house was totally dark. I kept my luggage in the corner and kept looking for dad.
“Dad, I’m back!” There was no response. He might be in the terrace. That’s one place you can find him in the nights. He keeps staring at the sky. I always wondered what he would be looking at in the star-studded sky. Not only this, there are many more things about him that had surprised me. The only stuff he’s concerned about is ‘giving me food’. He has no special interests or wishes. Will you believe that he doesn’t even watch TV or read newspaper? He’ll either be in the kitchen or terrace.
“Kumar, when did you come?” He was descending from the stairs.
“Just now…the tour was too good. I never knew that the Mysore palace looks that magnificent in the night! You should see the malls in Banglore…. I had gone nuts managing my students. Few of them….”
“Will idlis be fine for dinner?” Bang…came his expressionless voice!
I sighed. Didn’t I tell you? He hardly listens to such talks. He’s concerned about food, food and food! Nothing else!!! Even during supper I tried to initiate a conversation about the tour, but he still had the same straight-faced look
I was lying in the bed totally exasperated. I knew that dad had an extremely tough time after mom’s death, when I was 2 years old. Since then he had made a living by working in a hotel nearby as a cook. I don’t have any memories of him being an extrovert. He hardly smiles. Last I saw him smiling when I gave the appointment order for my present job as a lecturer.
I feel jealous about my friends who used to complain about their dad’s talking endlessly! In fact I tried to do some talking with him about the weather, politics, music, movies, books etc. but he had never reciprocated. I wish I could also take him out for temple, or movies. My notion of changing him had failed!
Since I wasn’t feeling sleepy, I thought of skimming through a magazine. In the first page, a dermatologist was addressing about the problems occurring in the foot. A person had enquired about a remedy for her sole being hard and numb.
“The sole by nature is soft. But when it is exposed to harsh surfaces, in the beginning it hurts…due to its sensitivity. If the exposure to the same surface continues it looses its softness and becomes totally numb. It’s an involuntary action. Since the pain is no longer felt, people don’t see that as a problem and hence end up neglecting it. To get rid of this, pamper it with, say, an oil massage. The most important of all stay away from rough surfaces.”
Hmm, nowadays people are more conscious about taking care of their sole rather than soul! I wonder whether this ‘sole’ story is true for ‘soul’ too! Lets see, I’ll read that paragraph again.
Soul is generally soft – agreed
When soul encounters hardships for the first time, it hurts – agreed too. (That’s the reason your first love, if failed would have hurt you more)
When soul is facing more troubles, it no longer pains as it had become insensitive –
for a second Dad’s expressionless face flashed before me. I can’t believe this!!! Is THIS the reason he has become numb? That’s TRUE! He had only faced thunderstorms and lightning in his life---all this just for my sake. They involuntarily turned him into a robot.
Had his soul become numb that it could no longer feel the love I express! Tears tingled down my cheeks. I felt like crying out loud “Dad I love you! You had been born a human but turned into a machine because of me! But I’m going to bring you back, dad. I know you’ll definitely regain the sensitivity when I keep showering you with love and affection. And after that I swear that I’m not going to let anything hurt you. You’ve already seen enough. I want to ensure that your journey till the end of life is as content as possible.” Before I went to sleep, I made a to-do note to book tickets for Illayaraja’s concert. Dad’s going to love it, you know?
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